A Life Refilled...

A few weeks back I had experience that made really think about what kind of a person I am. The experience itself isn’t all that important, but the realizations that I made are. I came to see that I wasn’t nearly as good of a person as I thought I was. Well, that really isn’t fair. I had never really taken the time to see if I was the person that I wanted to be. It didn’t take me long to find that there were many things lacking in my life. So many dreams unfulfilled. So many goals, not just unachieved, but neglected and left to rot in the recesses of my being.

Except for my wife, kids and family I found that I didn’t really have much going on to be excited about. I love my family with all my heart, but because I lacked a driving force that kept me excited about life, my relationships with the ones I loved were lacking. It made me tense. Probably a lot tenser then I was letting on. There were things that I wanted to do with my life, but I wasn’t, and it was slowly eating me up. It left me feeling empty. Above all it just wasn’t fair to my wife and kids because it was keeping me from being the best husband and father I could be. It was also keeping me back from being the friend I wanted to be to the people that I care about. I realized that I could not go on like that any longer. So I decided to change.

The funny thing about changing is that isn’t hard. I feel really ridiculous for not doing it sooner. Some things are subtle, like smiling more. Some are big, like not yelling at my kids. What was even more awesome than that is how these changes just start rolling. Here is an example…

My electric cello’s bridge broke about a year ago, but for some reason I kept putting it off. As soon as I started to make a concerted effort to better myself. Getting it fixed came as naturally as breathing. It was like I had no choice.

That is what I mean by A Life Refilled. My personal gas tank was running low. I was just puttering along. I could do all the basics, but anything else just shut me down. By making the concious decision that the staus quo of my life was no longer good enough I have found that life is more like I know it should be. Things are finally moving in a direction that makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning and seize the day. I can finally rescue my goals and dreams from my old self and make them real.

This is obviously a severly truncated version of my Refillment, but I had to get it out there in writing. There are many things that I have done in just the month or so since I decided that enough is enough. Too many to list, but the amazing thing is that I know that I am just getting started. I hope to use this blog to keep you cats up to date with all the great things and changes I am making in my life. So stay tuned!!


NJP 4 LIFE!!!